Ugandan English 101

Coming to Uganda not knowing the local language has certainly been a challenge, but even the English spoken here has taken some getting used to...


To give someone a "push" - to walk with someone to where they are going
Organize your bones and get moving - stop procrastinating
You are lost! - Where have you been? I haven't seen you for awhile!
They will drink you! - You are beautiful!
You are smart! - You are dressed SO nice!
To shift - to move from one home into another
To move - To walk
Are you there? Are we together? - Do you understand what I'm saying?
You've taken a long time minus coming- You haven't come by in a long time
I love you beyond- I love you more than I can say
Do you get? - do you understand?
Those ends- wherever you are ie. How are things those ends?
For me I don't want- I don't like that
Sleep did not touch my eyes - I did not sleep well
Out - anywhere outside of Uganda ie. studying from out
This side - Uganda
That side - The West (North America)
Do you hear that? - Do you smell that?
You have become used-you are now used to something
How is there? - How are things wherever you came from?
How is here? - How are things around this place?
I am not fine - I am sick or something is wrong
I am a little bit fine - I am feeling a bit sick
I am somehow fine - I am okay
She doesn't eat anything with blood- she is a vegetarian
Do you fear?- Are you afraid?
For me I don't fear- I am not afraid
A little bit big - medium
Big, big- very big
Small, small - very small
Good time - (said on departure) Have a good day, evening, or whatever you are doing
Flu is catching me - I think I'm getting the flu
My stomach is biting me - I have a stomach ache
These people are not serious- they are just fooling around
A shortcall - to urinate
I am feeling weak - I may be getting sick
Well done!- a greeting, saying hello
The train can be backed up - you will change your mind
I have ever been there - I have been there
I have ever done that - i have done that
Can it be? - Is it true?
Sample us something - Sing or dance for us
Reading - studying
you come and we go - Let's go!
Snaps - Photos
If my hair was as soft as yours, people would eat it like food - your hair is very soft
You are going to laugh your tongue out! - You will laugh SO hard!
Check - take a look at this! Listen to this!
...And Kind of stuff -...and stuff like that
Well Be Back - Welcome back
To chase someone from somewhere - to kick them out, to fire them
I slept late - I went to bed late last night
Ramshackled food - food that didn't turn out the way it should

After the serious tone to some of my other entries...I thought I'd tell a story that may result in a few chuckles, giggles or laughter...I believe there will be some smiles at least!

One night this week (Thursday) around 9pm, I went to our washroom to relieve myself...as i finished, I heard some extra splashing in the toilette water...hmmmmmm,no real concern at this point,just confusion...I stoodup and turnedto see an UGLY, BUMPY Monster-faced Brown and red LIZARD staring up at me from the toilette bowl!!! WHOA!! I stepped back to process the situation...my mind was filled with scenes from movies like Species, Alien, Gremlins and TV shows like "V - the final battle"(from the 80's) and that X-files episode where a giant lamprey-like creature was stalking people from the sewage systems!! I ran to get my camera and take some photos of this hideous peeping-Tom!
Now - the dilemma I was facing was, what to do with our Goulie? My first thought was to try and flush him..but he was too big, and maybe he'd just come back!! Plus...I've peed on him and now he is surely angry and ornery, no one wants to touch him!!
I went to inform Rebecca of our slimy visitor...trouble was, we both fear the creepy crawler, but we needed him out of there!! What to do??
"Get a bucket," I said.
"and the Panga," she said," and a long stick!"
We sprang into action, and as we ran around gathering our "weapons" and planning how to rid ourselves of Mr. Wart-Face Ugly-Pants...he just floated patiently...waiting for his revenge!
Okay - we were ready, an old blue bucket 1/4 full of water, one long Panga(machete) curved at one end, and one long stick. I positioned the bucket to catch Slippery McSlitherton, and Rebecca used the Panga and stick as tongs to pinch and grab Creepy-Claws and try to drop him in the bucket...
First try - he wriggled free - SPLOOSH!! Back in the toilette!!
Second try - Again squirm, slither - KER PLOP!!
Our Third try had the charm and SPLISH SPLASH - he was taking a bath in the blue bucket. We laughed and breathed a deep sigh of relief.....TOO SOON!!Toad-Face-Gollum was clambering up the side of the pail and trying to escape!! His back hunched, his long claws scraping!! We shrieked and laughed and Rebecca shoved him back into the water with the stick!

Okay...holding him down with the stick and running through the house with the pail,laughing and freaking out, we rushed out into the compound and dumped our uninvited guest in the grass! He scurried away into the darkness, not being able to see him freaked us out and we hurried back inside...ahhhhhhhhhh safe at last!

Needless to say, NEVER again will I sit on that toilette without checking it for visitors first!!

"Don't take life too seriously, You'll never get out alive!" -Bugs Bunny

This song is in my head all day every day thee days...when i hear it, the tears are always close and i feel I want to sing it to everyone I know here in Uganda....and there at home. Don't worry, I won't sing...but here are the Lyrics for you to read...


May the Lord bless and keep you
May His face shine upon you
May His graciousness be like an endless stream
May the Lord show His favour
To your house and your neighbor
Until the last remaining strains of striving cease
May He grant you peace

‘cause in my heart there’s a sadness building up
Every turn adds to the cup
As the losses match the measure of my gains
In the shadow of this curse
Where the best implies the worst
If you’re like me you’ll need to hear somebody pray...

May the Lord bless and keep you
May His face shine upon you
May His graciousness be like an endless stream
May the Lord show His favour
To your house and your neighbor
Until the last remaining strains of striving cease
May he grant you peace

-For The Journey : Music and Lyrics by Steve Bell
© 2000 Signpost Music

God Bless Steve for being faithful to his gift...and for sharing it with us.

Needless to say, my time here in Uganda has been full of new experiences, challenges and blessings...today welcomes a new experience for me... As I was sitting here in the internet cafe in Kamapala today, busy trying to connect with home, some supporters of those who oppose the president came walking down Kampala Road....almost immediately after they passed, I heard the all-too-familiar-sirens that warn "TEAR GAS IS COMING!!!" Instantly everyone in the cafe sprung into action...many people were running out and away, some people fled into the washroom, the staff were busy pulling down and locking the metal gates...within about ten seconds, we were all locked inside quietly waiting for the inevitable...through the window we could see the thick bluish fog make it's way down the now empty street....slowly it seeped under the metal gates and immediately all of our eyes were stinging, nasal passages burning , sinuses throbbing...tears flowing, throats constricting and nostrils flaring!! People began to shout for water, everyone needing to rinse their eyes... wipe their faces, blow their noses!!

Sounds like a completely negative experience right? Well, not entirely... like in all situations that are likened to a crisis...those involved are bonded...even if for a few moments...we are all in the same boat and therefore an instant camaraderie occurs....people were wiping their tears and laughing...some people shaking their heads at each other with a wry grin "that's our country!" and more laughing...people sitting down at tables together, sharing bottles of water to wipe their stinging faces...everyone regaining their composure TOGETHER:Muslim and Christian,Ugandan and Muzungu, Young and Old...Together... then, the gates were opened, the sun shone in and a breeze brought in some fresh air ...everyone breathed a collective sigh of relief and moved on with their day.
Since then we have been "locked down" twice and have heard rumours that there is gun-fire up the street and more tear-gas... If only those rare moments of camaraderie and human oneness could last...if only we could hold onto it...continue it....maybe there would be less fighting, more talk...understanding and maybe.....peace.

"If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other." -Mother Theresa