This entry will have a different tone and style than most, as I was unable to send any e-mails or connect with home in any way this week...I will connect , in a more personal way than usual, here in my Journal.
This week has been a week of inner solitude...and a week of almost overwelming loneliness... Don't get me wrong - i am surrounded by wonderful people....people who are warm and loving and gracious and kind...and i Love them to bits and pieces. However, somehow...I have felt more alone this week than any in my memory. So, I now know my threshold for being lonely is exactly 2 months!!
My struggle comes because of my pride - I do not want to admit weakness...so I become silent, and keep my weakness to myself...so I've decided to admit my weakness here for all to see...I am struggling with lingering loneliness.
I crave anything familiar...faces, voices, language, places, foods...really anything would do!!! It seems silly really, I never thought I would be one to become homesick....apparently i was wrong!! Home calls to me across the ocean - I resist the urge to answer.
So, my family and friends at home...my heart is with you, and it is here with the people of Uganda as well. I fear the day i will have to leave here and know that I will be torn in two. I am overjoyed by the knowledge that I have you all and do miss your company...Thank you all for the love you send me, the prayers that cover me, the arms that wait for me. Tears are close...they spill... I am thankful for a life so full and blessed at home, that i can miss it this much. Oh the anticipation that will build over the next months...oh the homecoming!! My heart is full....
"Sometimes there's just no way to hold back the river." -Paulo Coehlo